This may sound strange but, it’s rare that we actually have the chance to meet ourselves in this life. How can we, when we are taught to define who we are by what we do?
From a young age we’re asked; what we want to be when we grow up? But never who we want to become or how we want to feel. As a result, we learn to condense everything inside of us as schooling, then a degree, a line on our resume and then hopefully a job.
What are you studying in school?
What are your grades like?
What is your end goal when you’re finished with school?
Have you started looking for jobs in your field?
What do you do for work?
Could you work your way up higher in the company?
We answer without hesitation but the questions, comparison and expectations don’t stop. And based on what, a title?
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When it comes to self identity, an article in Psychology Today references the phrase, “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.” It reminds us to not put all of our hopes in one outcome, recommending cultivating a multi-dimensional identity. This is a life where our occupation is one important component but not the only important component for us to grow and develop in life.
The Global Flourishing Study of over 200,000 adults in 22 countries was released in April 2025 by Harvard University and views human flourishing as multi-dimensional. It makes note of six critical components to living a thriving and fulfilling life and one’s career or job is not listed.
Instead what is listed is happiness and life satisfaction, mental and physical health, meaning and purpose, character and value, close social relationships and financial and material stability.
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If we go by this list, what if we were to ask children how they want to feel as they grow and develop into young adults who will one day change the world? Perhaps the answer wouldn’t be doctor, lawyer or whatever their parents want them to do or what has a high paying salary.
Maybe the answer would simply be ‘happy’, something we all crave deep down although we might not admit it let alone how to feel it.
French novelist George Sand once said, “There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved.”
How do you want to feel when you grow up?
Happy and loved.
Image Source: Unsplash/Christopher Welsch Leveroni
And yet, so often, we spend our lives chasing what it is we think we need to survive— sustain ourselves. However, the titles, accolades and resumes don’t capture the quiet, essential parts of ourselves that come along with survival success. We trade joy for validation, presence for performance and in the process, we forget that accomplishments don’t always equal happiness.
We’re never taught to chase love because those who belong in our lives shouldn’t have to be chased. Yet we do so in our careers each and every day.
We chase promotions, recognition, opportunities, approval and constantly measure our worth by external validation. If a person can’t make someone feel whole, happy or seen, neither can a job, no matter how fulfilling it seems on paper. Enjoying our work doesn’t replace the need to know ourselves. Titles and paychecks can give satisfaction, but they cannot fill the spaces in our hearts or minds, only self-understanding can.
Image Source: Javier Allegue Barros
Before we can thrive in careers, before we can build meaningful relationships, before we can even enjoy the life we are living, we have to first understand who we are beneath all the expectations. Our passions, values, quirks, fears and dreams.
What is it that you like about yourself?
What brings you joy?
What makes you laugh?
Who are you?
Perhaps meeting ourselves isn’t about checking off milestones or climbing a career ladder. Perhaps it’s about pausing long enough to notice who we are when no one is watching; to allow the parts of ourselves that can’t be summarized in a job description the time to flourish and to invest in relationships, curiosity and purpose.
The person behind the resume is human, fluid, layered and alive. It is the laughter you share with a friend, the quiet pride of creating something meaningful, the resilience that carries you through hard days and the values you hold even when no one else sees them.
Image Source:
Negar Nikkhah
What if the measure of success wasn’t the value of a title or the size of a paycheck, but the depth of our fulfillment? What if happiness, love and connection were the only credentials we ever needed?
Maybe then we would finally meet ourselves.
