Draft:
She lay down Standing strong
positioned like a painting
attention on You
in the mirror
A whisper pushes past her lips
“This is for you,”
coloured painted red, her smile her smile
fades as her glance lingers
alone
but never free
from the chokehold of her own honesty.
Critique(that does not make sense!) A critic of no remorse,
of hateful reflection
no love
no love.
“This is for you”
the only one to love her
“This is for you”
the one I will have be have forever.
Final Product:
Standing strong
positioned like a painting
attention on you
in the mirror
A whisper pushes past her lips
“This is for you,”
painted red, her smile
fades as her glance lingers
alone
but never free
from the chokehold of her own honesty.
A critic of no remorse,
of hateful reflection
no love.
“This is for you,”
the only one to love her
“This is for you,”
the one I will have forever.
Why I wrote this piece:
I decided to write a poem that holds a sort of dual meaning and intent. The poem itself is about a person who is overly critical of themself and is almost having an internal conversation with themself in the mirror, in which they are being self-critical. This aspect of the poem is what formed the title of the piece. However, I wanted to display the idea of self-criticism when it comes to art as well. In order to achieve this, I decided to leave in all of the changes (strikethroughs) and processes (red colour comments) that I went through while writing this piece before displaying the final product. Poetry as an art form is very challenging because a lot of the time it is written from a place of internal thoughts which is why it is often that I, as the writer, am the biggest and harshest critic of my writing/art. Striving for perfection and honesty as an artist allows for this demonstration of self- and artistic criticism.
