To continue life alone with unshared thoughts, feelings, regrets, triumphs is a life many fear. We reach out to others to feel a connection beyond shared laughter— beyond the common connection termed as friendship. This is an objective lost within the years of a fast-paced society, the proposal of discovering yourself in another: a partner.
A Deeper Delve Into Understanding what a Soulmate is
As American writer Richard Bach explains in “Uncharted Corner of Consciousness”,
“[A] soulmate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction…[A] soulmate is the one who makes life come to life.”
A soulmate, knowing this hidden information about us, knows more about you than most others do; they know your highest peaks and darkest valleys. Unlike most mutual relationships— like family and friends— a soulmate will support you regardless of your flaws, creating a bond that allows you to be yourself around them. Beyond a surface-level understanding that one might accomplish with an acquaintance, a soulmate delves deeper into the unknown waters of yourself.
In addition to understanding you, they may show you more about yourself than you have previously grasped a perception of. Soulmates peel back the layers of your internal onion to reach your core, true and inner self. Especially since many find it a challenge to be heard when lost in a “bubble world” of others that may also share this disconnection. Then, what is better than to have one person accept your genuine self? What is better than to have another person embark on the journey of utterly discovering you and accepting you no matter what?
Though the first thought that comes to mind when thinking of a soulmate may be of a couple pulled together through thick and thin, these strongly-tied relationships don’t have to be romantic. Soulmates can share a platonic relationship just as likely as a romantic one. As a writer, relationship researcher and social scientist, Brooke Meredith explains, a soulmate does not have to be composed of romantic interest; instead, the open connection and closeness that exists between two people create this unbreakable connection.
However, not everyone we encounter has the ability to foster this kind of bond, as not everyone can be someone’s next romantic partner. These two bonds are treated similarly in that though virtually anyone can fill the role of a soulmate or romantic partner— a colleague, a roommate and others who we have already established some sort of connection with— there is simply only one person who goes beyond all other connections. Furthermore, in a generally romance-driven world, a soulmate forms important connections of trust and acceptance outside the realm of a romantic relationship.
Modern Implications and Using our Soulmate Key to Save Others
Humans depend on one another. Despite our evolution in a range of areas, we can not deny our primitive tribalism that stems from caring for each other. We are most literally born through connection and depend on our connections with others to accomplish virtually everything in life. Especially today in modern-day segregated America, we need these real connections more than ever.
Furthermore, finding importance in deeply understanding someone despite their race, gender socioeconomic status, religion and identity— among other aspects of identity— may take society a step forward in reaching the universal goal of unity. Truly seeing another person is seeing their failures, losses, achievements and their inner-selves that may be locked away from others.
Thus, in the face of this current-day adversity that takes the form of all collective oppression, mistreatment and overarching hate, soulmates form in an attempt to see and support each other. They form in light of some of the many misfortunes of today: the misfortune of over 3 billion impoverished individuals, widespread LGBTQ+ discrimination, innocent black lives dying at the hands of police and much more. Beyond a mutual glance, deeper than a helping hand, soulmates can be an answer to the echoes of misfortune today.
Acknowledging the sheer density of the love and care from a soulmate, this person in your life can open closed doors within yourself. On a spiritual-like level, a soulmate is someone who has aligned with your soul in an attempt to “awaken” your inner self to a higher existence. Explained simply, imagine never discovering a part of yourself that allowed self-acceptance and avoided inner-turmoil. This person would be led through life based on the belief that they honestly could not continue with peace and truly love themselves and themselves only. As a soulmate cares to reveal, they will help this person discover and even achieve an eternal love that only a bond as close as this would unravel. On the other hand, a soulmate will make an enduring attempt to catch your unhelpful and negative qualities and provide guidance on learning to overcome these mishaps.
Image Source: Michelle Zunter, Huffpost
Like a jab at the lurking darkness within, someone who can deeply understand you can most importantly aid you in opening up on subjects of mental health and reaching out for help. The chemistry formed between two closely-drawn people can create steps towards helping each other regain footing when lost to mental battles. Concerning the importance of friendship and mental health, we need friends to talk and express ourselves and our emotions to when we need to be listened to; they keep us grounded when putting up against challenges and the negative thoughts that come from within.
On an unfathomable scale, soulmates exceed the protection and care of a friend. Mental health writer and author of The Bipolar Lens Terri Cheney shares her experience of meeting a soulmate and opening up on the topic of suicide; she states in “Suicide + Honesty: How to Find a Soulmate”, “It changes everything. From that moment on, we knew things about each other that it sometimes takes years or a lifetime to learn…He’s been there, he gets it. I’m home.” Thus, imagine the possibilities and the vast sea of help one can receive when in the hands of a soulmate— someone who truly cares.
No one wants to go through life unnoticed and ignored; however, in an approach to living life freely, we sometimes close ourselves off from the world. As a result, we hold back from forming life-long relationships and we find ourselves in the pit of the universal dread of loneliness. Once we put down the borders that separate us in an attempt to withhold complete vulnerability do we then thrive and grow together like trees intertwining and reaching the light above.
Image Source: Maria Rodale, Maria’s Farm Country Kitchen
Humans can not help being utterly human; we are emotional creatures that depend on connections with others and we can recognize those who complete a deeper connection needed in our lives: a soulmate. This is the key which we use to discover ourselves and others and to keep humanity grounded in the primitive need to care for each other.