each day,
is painful
because my skin,
my background is
responsible for all deaths
that count for
more and more
every
passing
day
on the bus,
they hold their breaths in a rush.
at school,
they run and cough at me
to look cool
but the days
are suffocating
as their gazes
circle around my neck
until I surrender
and pay for my sins
on a cheque.
so I breathe in the suffocating days
and convinced that the essays
they write
make me admit to
my wrongdoings
I hang in the sky
being stared by every passing person
because the attention takes me higher
and higher
until I am exposed to every person
I start to hide in my room
where no one can see me;
where I can’t hear the gossiping voices
until they win
I can’t trust anyone because
I can’t trust myself.
I’m useless,
worthless,
nothing.
and the hatred blossoms
and fills the space
within.
Why I Wrote This Piece
This poem was written during the “Write to Discover” program. It expresses the feelings and experiences I faced as a victim of anti-Asian sentiment during COVID-19.
