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When September rolls around, the first day back to school upruptly follows. Shaking off the anxieties is not easy, take it from me who gone through first-days of schools for 22 years, moving schools and even moving cities. The transition moving schools is not easy, and not one often getting used to, but you’re different because you decided to be proactive on taking control of the things you can.
Take it for me, in under two years I have transformed from a chronically introverted person to someone who mingles with celebrities and knows people in every social setting. I help people build inner confidence, assisting in better conversations and facilitating events to foster community.
Here is the strategies I wish I knew navigating this transition period and how I built friends through my years of experience.
When September rolls around, the first day back to school can feel abrupt and overwhelming. Shaking off these anxieties is easier said than done—take it from me, someone who has navigated first days of school for 18 years, including moving schools and even cities as a chronic introvert. Each one of my transition brought its own set of challenges, but I learned valuable strategies for overcoming these hurdles and eventually made meaningful friends.
The transition to a new school can be daunting, and it’s something that rarely gets easier with time. However, you’re different -you took the awareness to read this article! Give yourself a pat on the back, because you’ve chosen to be proactive and take control of what you can. So who am I? Over the years, I’ve assisted people in building inner confidence, facilitating better conversations, and organizing events to foster community. These experiences have equipped me with insights on how to effectively manage the anxieties of starting anew and how to forge meaningful friendships.
“Your vibe attracts your tribe.”
A key reminder that the energy and confidence you assert will project like-minded people into your life.
Let’s do a self-assessment on reframing your inner thought language and about yourself and combating your imposture syndrome and anxieties about the thought.
During exchanging names, what parts of my story introduce first out of habit/comfort?
Do these familiar conversations still align with my evolving identity?
What new parts of myself am I curious to explore and share?
Instead of focusing on whether people will like me, what if I focused on finding others who share my interests or values?
Is it possible that the people around me are also feeling anxious or nervous about making friends?
How could I help ease and reassure someone else these feelings?
What small step can I take today to be kind or open to someone else?
Here are some tips I used to navigated back to school and built lasting connections through my years of experience:
Be curious: Approach new people with the intention to learn about them by asking open-ended questions and ask follow-up. People appreciate feeling heard, listened to and sets the foundation for meaningful connections and conversation skills. If you need cool conversation starters, I’ll go in depths on another acticle.
Join a community:One of the easiest ways to find like-minded people is to join a group, whether your interests is video games, poetry, or soccer. Student clubs, after-school programs and/or online communities like discord. Participating in a a shared passion can naturally lead to conversations. But be sure to expand the conversation, just like you and me, we all have other interests, causes we are passionate about and viewpoints on life. Use these opportunities to broaden horizons.
Be proactive: When I was starting a new school, I made myself a goal to get out of my shell and acknowledge 5 new people each day. Being proactive meant, reflecting on how I was presenting myself. Do I walk with a slouch? My head down? Texting on my phone in a crowd?
If you are serious about being social and being presented as you are confident, popular or whoever you want to become. Start simple and consistent, whether that be complimenting someone in passing, smile to someone you recognize or a hello. These little moments will unconsciously make the person recognize you, and in turn possibly approach you the next time. If you are comfortable consistently making small hints, eventually raising the stakes. Ask new people how they’re doing, or how they like to spend their favourite pass time.
Asset confidence: “If you already believe in your confidence, you’ve already won half the battle.” Think back to a role model you look upto, how would they act like in your situation if it was a silent play? Often times confidence isn’t what you say but how you say it, understand there are a lot of things at play, and it all takes practice. Being mindful of your body language, tone, movements and eye contact are key into your delivery, I’ll go into detail on another article.
Staying Authentic: Staying authentic means to be true to yourself, including your relatable struggles in an open safe environment with peers. I emphasize on express vulnerability, often we are caught up on comparing ourselves to celebrities and social media that we put a border of how we are suppose to talk and behave. Stay authentic opens doors to deepens our connections to each other and you never know, you could be opening up a conversation to help other people navigate through a similar situation.
Water your flowers: My life coach shared a profound insight: building a strong network of friends requires time and effort, much like tending to a garden. Some relationships will be like weeds—energy-draining or superficial. It’s your responsibility to nurture your ‘garden’ by cultivating meaningful connections and removing those that no longer serve you. Remembering little details like their passion for x, follow up on their goals of y, and what they’re looking forward to. These details that you remember will make them feel heard, feel seen and see you for the thoughtful person that you are. With persistence and care, you will navigate through various social circles, eventually surrounding yourself with the high-quality friendships you desire. It all starts with nurturing the relationships that truly align with who you are.
Build bridges: Making connections is just the beginning, having them as a contact or had made the introduction. But meaningful friendships require tending to, make an effort to hang out, follow up with people through open-conversation. I will go in depth in the upcoming articles, on some strategies that has helped me, such as, asking for their option in their interests, such as in fashion, in taking care of pets, in their favourite sports. It is a win-win, learning new things and turn the initial interaction into a deeper relationship bond.
Remember to have fun and loosen up before approaching others. Approach each interaction with empathy, considering how you would like to be approached yourself, reworking these strategies as if they were your own. The start of the new school year often brings a blend of excitement and anxiety, but by recognizing and applying these strategies, I’ve been able to shape my growth and resilience, making each transition smoother and more manageable.
